A trader: "This is worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth and
I still have a wife."
President Bush said clients shouldn't be concerned by all these bank
closings. If the bank is closed, you just use the ATM, he said.
George Bush said that he is saddened to hear about the demise of Lehman
brothers. His thoughts at this time go out to their mother as losing one
son is hard but losing two is a tragedy.
The problem with investment bank balance sheets is that on the left side
nothing is right and on the right side nothing is left.
In maths there are 30 billion prime numbers below 700 billion. The rest
are all subprime.
How do you define optimism? A banker who irons 5 shirts on a Sunday.
What do you call 12 investment bankers at the bottom of the ocean? A
good start.
Why are all MBAs going back to school? To ask for their money back.
For Geography students: What's the capital of Iceland ? Answer: About
Three Pounds Fifty...
If you want to gamble, go to Las Vegas . If you want to trade in
derivatives, God bless you.
Whats the difference between a guy who just lost everything in Vegas and
an investment banker? A tie.
Whats the difference between a bond and a bond trader? A bond matures.
Lehman have changed their recommendation on Lehman from hold to sell.
Forty years ago I sold fifty shares of my company stock and had enough
money to purchase a brand-new 1967 Ford pickup. Last week, I checked it
out, and if I sold another fifty shares, Id have enough money to buy a
1967 Ford pickup. So, the market has stabilized.
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