taking a break from the credit crunch**

**source: http://forum.channelnewsasia.com/viewtopic.php?t=188615&sid=672812ba7f8d635ae5bf5e60a5890b8c
A trader: "This is worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth and
I still have a wife."

President Bush said clients shouldn't be concerned by all these bank
closings. If the bank is closed, you just use the ATM, he said.

George Bush said that he is saddened to hear about the demise of Lehman
brothers. His thoughts at this time go out to their mother as losing one
son is hard but losing two is a tragedy.

The problem with investment bank balance sheets is that on the left side
nothing is right and on the right side nothing is left.

In maths there are 30 billion prime numbers below 700 billion. The rest
are all subprime.

How do you define optimism? A banker who irons 5 shirts on a Sunday.

What do you call 12 investment bankers at the bottom of the ocean? A
good start.

Why are all MBAs going back to school? To ask for their money back.

For Geography students: What's the capital of Iceland ? Answer: About
Three Pounds Fifty...

If you want to gamble, go to Las Vegas . If you want to trade in
derivatives, God bless you.

Whats the difference between a guy who just lost everything in Vegas and
an investment banker? A tie.

Whats the difference between a bond and a bond trader? A bond matures.

Lehman have changed their recommendation on Lehman from hold to sell.

Forty years ago I sold fifty shares of my company stock and had enough
money to purchase a brand-new 1967 Ford pickup. Last week, I checked it
out, and if I sold another fifty shares, Id have enough money to buy a
1967 Ford pickup. So, the market has stabilized.

Tax System Explained in Beer by David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.Professor of Economics University of Georgia**

**this man is a genius.

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100.

If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this... The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.

The fifth would pay $1.

The sixth would pay $3.

The seventh would pay $7.

The eighth would pay $12.

The ninth would pay $18.

The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. 'Since you are all such good customers,' he said, 'I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20. 'Drinks for the ten now cost just $80. The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers?

How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share?

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).

The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings) .

The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings) .

The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).

The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 ( 22% savings).

The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

'I only got a dollar out of the $20,'declared the sixth man.

He pointed to the tenth man,' but he got $10!''Yeah, that's right,' exclaimed the fifth man.

'I only saved a dollar, too.. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!''That's true!!' shouted the seventh man.

'Why should he get $10 back when I got only two?

The wealthy get all the breaks!

''Wait a minute,' yelled the first four men in unison. 'We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!'

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night the Tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction.

Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore.

In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is
somewhat friendlier.